Today is February 8th, I've sat sick for months, I live day to day. Because, ultimately that is all everybody can do. I've loved every moment on this Earth. Loved every person who matters to me. Lived my life the best of my abilities. Spent nights crying about leg pain, complained about lack of sleep. I've had 20 surgeries and have scapegoated my own faith and God for all of my daily issues.
Everyone in some point of their life battles depression, whether you know or just will not want to talk about it. Some people it consumes them, turns them into a person without feeling without care. I've lost 2 relatives in the past 5 years, because at that exact moment anxiety and depression was stronger than they were. Completely normal individuals without any cause for concern that they may take their own life.
People hold grudges, people swear, people downright make life miserable for most people. At a point in my life I was that person, I did make people feel worse. Because, i felt they should have to experience some kind of mental anguish. I've changed recently. I've become a better person in some ways, other ways I am still much of the asshole I was. I've realized life is too short to make people feel terrible. Words hurt, through 12 years of enduring insults about my personal appearance. I've learned it, I've developed tough skin. With the love of my family behind me. I've become stronger, better from those people being an ass. Without my Mother and my 2 Brothers being there no matter what, I don't know where I would be. I wrote that with tears of happiness.
Recently I've been conscientiously making an effort to help those people around me who are sad, who have been broken down to their core. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, people should tell people that instead of how ugly or fat that person is. Everyone should be told they are beautiful in some way.
Today, I write that I was a depression sufferer. There is help, it doesn't even have to be a professional organization. Just talk to the people close to you. The people who will care about you.
I hope at least one person will read this and feel some kind of hope. Some kind of motivation to help the people around them. Keep those battling depression close to heart and mind.
Thank you to my immediate family, those people who have helped me at some point in my life. Most of my extended family. As well as my girlfriend Amanda.