I hate summer.
It is hot, sweaty, stickier than a cinnabon. It is full of bugs, pollen, and sun. I'm all for the vitamin D. It helps me feel less depressed. Which is fine, but the heat balances that feeling out. sweating while sitting down. Baseball on TV everyday is great. But as soon as you hit august, you pretty much wanna die. Constant days of feeling your balls slide around with sweat pools glistening from underneath you.
C'est La Vie.
My reasons for liking winter are 3 fold
1) Hockey. Oilers fans optimism being crushed by remembrance day. Leafs fans want every player traded, and the Hawks find ways to win with 4 players.
2) You can put on layers to keep warm. Rather than removing everything but a tiny loin cloth, you can just put on 16 parkas and 23 pairs of long underwear. Oh, Canada.
3) No fucking bugs. I like spiders. But, being allergic to wasps and not having an epipen on me, I constantly live on the edge. It makes me some semblance of amazed that my life will probably end as a result of an asshole wasp. But in winter, those wasps are punks. They are scared of a little cold.
Getcha some wasps.
I'm Canadian. I've lived 70% in winter. It is comfortable. It is normal.
This heatwave has me feeling like Joan River's face next to a furnace.
Alas, I will sweat my face off, and become a human slip n slide.
I'll leave you with this thought. Everyday we have a hot day. Devon is sweating somewhere. Swearing belligerently like an old blind man trying to find his shoes.
Best sweaty regards,
Devon
This is my life, contains anxiety and the constant struggle with the unknown.
