Side effects are always worse than the condition

Staying up late, I thought 'hey, i know how I can get no sleep'. So I looked up my side effects to my peptic ulcer medication. Sure-fire way to no sleep-land.

What I have found out. It is not used to treat peptic ulcers. So, that is a brilliant start.

The side effects are everything I am trying to cure in association with gastrointestinal problems:

Stomach pain, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, constipation, gas. Some other gems that I have noticed include increased heart rate. Because who the fuck wouldn't want their heart racing in the Kentucky Derby.

I cannot possibly get mad at this either. I understand how the pharmaceutical world works. They throw the regular side effects in there; dry mouth, dizziness, lack of sleep, and/or drowsiness. As a general rule, they have to in case shit hits the fan harder. Or in my case doesn't fucking hit the fan at all.

Pharmaceuticals is a trillion dollar industry creates about 20 different drugs to treat one thing... Without actually fucking treating the damn thing. Just coasting you from year to year. Sucking every penny you have until you are flat fucking broke.  If I didn't have insurance the medication would cost 5 times the amount it does. Which works out to about a weeks worth of food for a single person

Codeine, anti - histamines, benzos, acetaminophen, Ibuprofen. All given for assorted things, they share one common thing. Extended use can cause metric tonne worth of problems. What does it all serve to the general public. 'treating achy joints, migraines, cluster headaches, hives, rash, anxiety, pressure in joints, arthritis. Yet when you go into a drug store you have to contact a pharmacist to even ask what is better between aspirin and tylenol. Shockingly they ask what is wrong, and tell you hey motherfucker this shit is the cure all end all. If not consult your physician to prescribe you the same thing just with your name on a plain white sticker. You are gonna like whatever fucking pill with a random character on it they give you. They will tell you hey don't mix it with similar medications. Stay away from the skull and crossbones.

Your body doesn't quite know that difference. It all clears through the liver and into the kidneys and is pissed out. But, pop a couple tylenol and some advil (for the same pain) and it will be just fine, because that's the bottom line because stone cold said so.

Since I got out of my last surgery and they put a beta blocker in my legs. It has caused leg twitches and neck jerks. Which I've never consulted people about, probably should have. They gave me painkillers, along with morphine drip that is routinely given for pain. Morphine with painkillers is ridiculous, it has caused a lot of issues in my everyday life. I have adopted extreme pee shyness. Although it did allow me to mack on the nurses in an extreme morphine stupor. (All you nurses in the house jump up, jump up and get down.)

I've had leg pain ever since. Worse, and more constant, and no one will work on a patient who has had another surgeon do work on him/or her for liability. I wake up and wonder which part of my leg will hurt. Until one day something is torn, or broken. It is a veritable cornucopia of pain that is similar to that of simon says. But, they will prescribe me nsaids and tell me to take advil. Advil is conveniently an nsaid. So basically I was taking both, at the same time, sometimes without food. Which is a no-no. Always eat with advil dosage.

It conquered my rather empty 'I could give a shit' shell with the mentality that something else will cure whatever comes of it. I would not wish 24/7 nausea on my worst enemy. Yeah things could be worse, a bear could be mauling the outside of my stomach as my body gets it from the inside. Considering all of this, it has shaped me into a better person. A more empathetic and sympathetic person for all those experiencing pain. I am more aware of people's issues and compensating habits.  It is a blessing in disguise, which will (from my viewpoint) will never be cured, just 'micromanaged' with long strings of words that I associate with one part of the body.

Next time you are watching a commercial for a prescription medication. Listen to the inflection of the voice over. Read any small print. The side effects read as a Shakespearean play. 

In all honesty, my biggest fear is that the pills I am taking are constantly making my body worse and will eventually kill me before i reach 22.

I sincerely hope not.

Thanks for reading my rant.

Good night my friends.

Regards,
Devon

Rick Rypien and his affect on my life.

A year ago today, a hockey player, an average joe, a person who battled through took his own life because of depression.

A hockey player who made it, about to start for a New/old franchise with familiar faces and must promise of enjoying a comfortable spot in the line-up. He had worked for it, but wasn't a happy person throughout his career. He ended it one night by hanging himself in his house in a rural town.

I learned that day to never live in silence with depression and always tell someone you love if you feel down one day or the other. He committed suicide and opened up debates about how different people can and should deal with depression.

Rick Rypien battled through family troubles, alcoholism and depression through his entire career. A very quiet and reserved individual. Minded his P's and Q's and did what he had to do to make a living. He had to fight to make it in the nhl and to stay in the nhl. Maybe he felt that isn't what he wanted to do, maybe it took its toll.

Whatever the case he had showed me a light, showed me a way to relieve some of the anxiety and forget being depressed. He bottled it up, it ate him up and he had nowhere to turn. He isolated himself because he didn't know how to deal with it. I don't want to bottle up my negative feelings anymore

I started writing blogs, threads, and posts on some websites. Found it to be a wonderful release. It helped me get through much of my troubles. I owe a lot to a man I have never met. He inspired me to be successful in my own way, not how society would dictate you to be successful.

You never know when it is your last day.

RIP Rick Rypien.

Regards,

Devon