Visiting doctors, diagnosticians and professionals. I've come to learn that my pain is almost not recognized. What I say is helping me is ignored. the carousel of medications that have the same effect as writing "prayers" on someones status. I'm not sure what the end goal is. I'm not liking the journey. It has crushed self-esteem and morale trying to battle through. To be told you might have something that shouldve been diagnosed at birth hurts.
I take medication, when I am directed. Pain is there. Medication is basically bitch slapped by the pain. I feel like my doctor's believe at that my age. I am not worthy of being "given up on" so to speak. By that I mean, they won't put me on painkillers with heavy attacks on the pain I feel. At 24 they feel like I should not be on narcotics. The truth is, it is what I should be on. It allows me to function. To not be in pain just sitting down. Learning that ultimately my spastic legs have many causes. Much of which are incurable and fatal. As is everything else,
Ironically I do not care what the dignosis is. they'll still run the carousel. I'll stay up all night depressed hoping for a doctor to give up on me.
I'm not looking for something to numb the physical. I need something to numb me... period.
This is my life, contains anxiety and the constant struggle with the unknown.
Friday, December 11, 2015
Thursday, December 3, 2015
The 'indian'
What does it mean to be called an Indian? It is derogatory and defamatory (unless from India).
You know what, you are never just called an "Indian". There is typically an adjective that follows. Things like
1. Drunk
2. Dirty
3. Stupid
4. Welfare
We are the oft-forgotten or at least the people that people want to forget exist in Canada. Luckily, they have handy little reserves (which we are told to go back to nearly everyday) that we can live on. Often told... You have your own land, why come here?
To further ourselves. Our families. Our future generations.
Recently, indigenous persons of Canada have had their first Rhodes Scholar. A phenomenal achievement that should never be taken at face value. It goes far beyond that. Every institution, every person he may have met or otherwise would discourage him to be less.
That's the mindset that most Indigenous persons have. I cannot be better. I am not smart enough.
Sadly, this will forever inhibit them if they want to believe this.
Indigenous people may never be afforded the same rights or privileges and that will never be at fault at the communities. It is a multi-system failure at the executive and legislative branch. Lack of clean drinking water, appropriate shelter and often times a scarcity of foods show how little First Nations communities are thought of.
Others wonder why the Aboriginal population lives so poorly.
Their ancestors were told to be nothing, succeed at nothing and take nothing.
Sadly, those teachings are cemented for generations to come.
I came to write about the sad state of many First Nations communities around the world. It became so much more depressing.
Only recently have we stuck up for ourselves. Through the means of Idle No More. I could not be more proud to be apart of a movement that hopefully yields change.
My brothers and sisters, make First Nations communities known. Do not let them forget that we exist. They will pay attention. Be apart of the solution.
Best Regards,
Devon
You know what, you are never just called an "Indian". There is typically an adjective that follows. Things like
1. Drunk
2. Dirty
3. Stupid
4. Welfare
We are the oft-forgotten or at least the people that people want to forget exist in Canada. Luckily, they have handy little reserves (which we are told to go back to nearly everyday) that we can live on. Often told... You have your own land, why come here?
To further ourselves. Our families. Our future generations.
Recently, indigenous persons of Canada have had their first Rhodes Scholar. A phenomenal achievement that should never be taken at face value. It goes far beyond that. Every institution, every person he may have met or otherwise would discourage him to be less.
That's the mindset that most Indigenous persons have. I cannot be better. I am not smart enough.
Sadly, this will forever inhibit them if they want to believe this.
Indigenous people may never be afforded the same rights or privileges and that will never be at fault at the communities. It is a multi-system failure at the executive and legislative branch. Lack of clean drinking water, appropriate shelter and often times a scarcity of foods show how little First Nations communities are thought of.
Others wonder why the Aboriginal population lives so poorly.
Their ancestors were told to be nothing, succeed at nothing and take nothing.
Sadly, those teachings are cemented for generations to come.
I came to write about the sad state of many First Nations communities around the world. It became so much more depressing.
Only recently have we stuck up for ourselves. Through the means of Idle No More. I could not be more proud to be apart of a movement that hopefully yields change.
My brothers and sisters, make First Nations communities known. Do not let them forget that we exist. They will pay attention. Be apart of the solution.
Best Regards,
Devon
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