"The Ravens win the Super Bowl"
Hands clammy, brain frozen, sinking into place, my shell is open. My mind reaches for worst possible outcomes, what happens/where/when/why. I start sweating, I am having a panic attack on the inside
No, it isn't me wondering if Ray Lewis has killed somebody else. It is me, in my own brain. Playing my own damn tricks and making me lose my mind. I've desensitized the world around me. I don't know how to act for today
Big week with 2 exams, 1 assignment and an essay (I have no clue what the format or length is yet) and I am taking it all in stride... Kinda. My body is feeling the affects of the weather of my mind and the weather outside. Sunny outside today, cloudy with dense fog inside. I am rationalizing everything I do, almost done all my study materials and finished the assignment. I have not an ounce of a brain cell firing on the synapse. I am not tired. The cortisol pumping through my veins is putting me on a rush. I do not want this rush, I want to sleep. For once, a nice sleep. School is a very nice sleep deterrent. Doesn't matter how tired you are, if you are being eaten alive by something you aren't sleeping.
This is the face of adversity. I feel like I am down 28-6 with a mountain to climb. Coming off statistically my worst outing.
This is an average day for a student in post-secondary, and in fact; some are very much so worse off than I am. This is draconian and ridiculous at this point. The anxiety young adults are subjected to is worse than imaginable.
There are those people out there with 8 am class like me. Hoping to get 2 hours of sleep
For those about to sleep, I sal....zzzzzzzzz
Regards,
Devon
This is my life, contains anxiety and the constant struggle with the unknown.
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