Nutella

First off, nutella is for "white people" It is a higher priced chocolate spread. When I say higher priced, it is affordable, but you can eat a fucking jar in one sitting.

Nutella is like finding all 150 of the first pokemon
Nutella is like owning a monkey, but never having to look after it.
Nutella is literally sex in your mouth.
Nutella is like having the Cubs win a World Series.
Nutella is like a humble leafs fan.
Nutella is like Nicolas Cage maybe acting decently in a movie.
Nutella is like the next Star Wars movie being good.

Nutella represents what we don't have in life. That sweet sultry mix of tasteful delight. Nutella is like the first time you gave cunnilingus. You didn't care, it was the moment. It was feeling it all at once.

Nutella is Chocolate, but then that little dude from the Flintstones was like, fuck it. Let's show the world what life could really be like. Then sprinkles some every loving kindness into that sweet moist chocolatey goodness.

Nutella is the reason why I am probably fat. Probably, not the 3 cheeseburgers I ate.

Nutella is like a normal chocolate spread, but then Joseph Gordon Levitt stuck his dick in it.

Nutella is like never having to hear Rihanna's "Shine Bright Like a Diamond" again

Nutella is like the great Greek god Zeus struck a bolt through the swiss alps and created nectar so good, it gives life threatening diabetes.

Nutella, simply is. The best spread since Kate Upton in maxim
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Fuck it....
I'm naming my first kid Nutella.