Numb...

I don't want to be here.

Scared of everything. Scared of pain
Always in pain. Scared to make a mistake

I don't want to be here.

Numb: Being unaware, dangerous, not caring, sociopathic
Emotionless, spineless.

I don't want to be here.

I want to become a ghost, a shell. I want to hate, I want to dislike everything, everyone. Without care.
Don't care about myself and others.

I don't want to be here.

I long to be numb
I long to be ignorant and stupid.

I don't want to be here.

Doing this and that. Convention, i don't want to be criticized and ostracized everyday.
I don't want to be judged,
I do not want to feel pressure.

I don't want to be here.

A happy life is dictated to you by media,
I will never be the best
Most days I won't even be my best.

I don't want to be here.

I just want to not care most days.
I do not see a future when I look at my life.
I never have.
I want to be numb. In my mind, numbness is beautiful.
Numb feels like sanity.

I don't want to be here.