Rehtaeh Parsons and social media

Rehtaeh Parsons (was) a Teenager in Nova Scotia.

I've been regretting writing this post, as it is the same shit as always. Same story, same outcome, and same level of caring from people who should care.
The judicial system has failed and will fail again.

Reh was a 17 year old high school girl, like any other I guess you could say. Went to school, and dabbled in parties on weekends. Business as usual for most high schoolers. Media and social networking gets blurry on the next details. She drank a lot, she blacked out. Yes, blacked out. Where you don't remember what happens once you reach that point. Typically 0.25-.035% BAC. What is not mentioned or argued, is the fact that one of the 4 guys who proceeded to rape her after the point of blackout, are not charged. For that matter, aren't even put under the microscope.

The incident happened in 2011. She drank, she fucked up and drank too much. What I would assume she passed out. 4 guys proceeded to rape her, one by one. Nobody says anything. EXCEPT for one of the rapists to say take a picture. The picture is put up on nearly every social networking site that we are visit daily.

The next day, she remembers very few details that you would expect from someone who blacked out. Suffering from crippling anxiety and disarray of the whole situation, she was unable to give a reliable testimony for them to look into criminally investigate these 4 shitheads.

That should not be the problem. Photos of their ridiculous actions and selfish fucking stupidity are online. That should be enough to prosecute them. But, alas it wasn't deemed enough reliable evidence to begin to prosecute them.

from 2011 to 2013 she continued to battle through high school. The worst part of it all is nobody was there to comfort her. Nobody cared enough to talk to her. She became afraid. She didn't know what to do. Nobody helped, not one individual could put aside differences to say "hey, everything will be okay." Which is sometimes all a person needs to hear. Instead she got ridiculed, she got called a slut. She was considered a person who liked gangbangs from people who weren't even there for the whole situation. She was called a whore. She was a shell by the end of all of it. That is not fair.

People should be man enough to say something, nod or smile. Include her, even nurture her. She got nothing, she didn't get a wink of helpfulness. Of some semblance of human interaction. High school ate her up and spit her out.

Social media is now a blessing and a curse. In her case it is a curse for right now. Social media lit the fire. She became so much more to people in the town when bloggers, accounts on twitter and close friends were able to tell people how much of a slut she was. How she is playing the victim. People bought into it. People lived it, it embodied them. People hated this girl for basically no reason.

She committed suicide in April. As my previous posts were written, this is very emotional for me. No individual anywhere should be treated like a piece of shit. I have feelings, you have feelings and she sure as fuck had feelings. It is too little, too late to to try help Rehtaeh. You can help the cause by using social media as a positive tool to get those 4 shitheads behind bars.

What can you do? You can talk to people, talk to anyone who looks like they are having a rough day. Listen to people, if they have a story be willing to talk to them. Give them a smile. Make them feel welcome in this shitty world. It is too late for Rehtaeh to have kindness given to her. I send my best wishes to her family.

Nothing or nobody helped this girl in Nova Scotia, nobody cared enough. To the common individual to the elite, nobody gave 2 shits about this girl who got raped.

Bullying has to fucking stop, cyber, human, fiscal, personal, elder, spousal. All of it has to stop.

Rest In Peace Rehtaeh, you will not be forgotten. You may become a face for change, a face for an anti-bullying campaign.
We need to start saving lives instead of ridiculing people.

http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/teens/home/splash.aspx Here is the number to kids help phone.

If you are in post-secondary, talk to a psychologist. If you are stuck and feel trapped. Talk to those close to you. Remember "This too shall pass" and please talk to somebody if you feel anxiety or depression. Do not bottle it up, it will consume you.

Thanks,

Regards,

Devon

I am

I am writing this blogpost to help people gain a little insight into who I am

I am funny
I am odd-looking, I am also aware of this.
I am unique, but as are all of you.
I am an avid gamer
I am a proud Indigenous Canadian
I am not better than anyone
I am easily frustrated.
I am easily angered
I am not hesitant to hit inanimate objects
I am unable to lay a hand on another human, regardless on how much you piss me off.
I am unable to make jokes about rape, racism, or using the word 'retard' and you shouldn't either
I am a person who was born with Bilateral cleft lip and palate
I am able to tell you what you should hear, if others cannot say it. (good or bad)
I am capable of feelings.
I am capable of comforting you, regardless if I have ever met you
I am a person who has broken my arm twice.
I am a person who has experienced 18 surgeries in my life (3 more on the way)
I am stronger because of them, not weaker
I am a person who does not see what is in front of him at first glance.
I am a hypocrite, as are you.
I am human
I am able to forgive
I am selfless
I am a sufferer of mental health problems
I am learning to control this.
I am most interested in learning about others, as you are the people in this with me.
I am a person who speaks from the heart.
I am an individual.
I am me .

I am done with this blogpost now, it is redundant. This is me.

Thanks,

Best Regards

Negative news media and its effects on anxiety

Anxiety of the masses, it is hard to justify that something can affect multiple people in one area. Each individual is different and deals with things differently.

At the end of the day, all of our information gets piped through the internet. I don't read a newspaper because it is all on my 4 by 6 screen. But, what are you really reading? How North Korea is threatening everyday. Murders, rapes and people trying to justify the fact they were raped because they were dressed provocatively.

The worst one of all, the health column. How bad do you eat? How shitty of a person are you for eating a little bit of cake? You are fat, you are gross and have no self-control.

Sometimes it is as blatant as that. Look, your body needs sugar, needs fats, needs salt. And your body needs a little bit of belly to help your brain. You don't need to be flat, you need a little girth. A little weight. It is no reason to freak out if you put on a few pounds. As long as you are happy with it. Magazines and newspapers put such stringent rules on society and how they should feel. Why? It is what they are paid to do. They break down your conscience and on the next page will have advertisements for hot yoga, weight loss plans, or a new pill. Why bother? Why bother reading these things?

Another issue I have with the negative news media is.the actual effects on the human body. Read a story that really affects your mood and your blood pressure will rise and your body's stress response will go haywire for days. It can also depress you. Read a story about a person younger than you who is a millionaire or has 3 degrees and it will seriously depress you. Regardless if you are a jealous person or not. Reality TV shows for people who are "fat" who have nothing left to live for are there to make you feel some compassion. What it actually does it give you a check-and-balance system that "hey, I'm not that crazy".

The constant need to portray people with mental health issue as crazy, or unlike everyone else is what makes me more angry. People deal with things in their own way. Yes 1 in 8 people are depressed. No need to paint them with a broad brush that they aren't like anyone else. Enough of that garbage media people. That affects peoples mental illnesses a lot worse as well. Because they are going to feel worse about themselves.

In my opinion (I will extrapolate in a further blogpost) Money is nearly synonymous with anxiety, and the news and media will be right there to reinforce it. What is worse about it all? They enforce it, and they force you into a corner by offering you "help". Their help puts you more in debt. Causes more anxiety, in some cases drives people to bankruptcy or even worse. Suicide.

So much negativity in the media today, it far outweighs the positivity. It is so much more than that, as I did not tie in sponsorship, who they are paid by, and the whole objective of it.

The news media is biased, and it is never positive. It makes me more anxious than it should. As if they report that we should be worried. Everyone will worry.

Oh, side note. During a mass murder they show the killer hundreds of times to make you feel uneasy and angry, they really need to stop that. Show victims and talk about their story.

Regards,

Devon

Social media on anxiety, relationships, and well-being

How much does twitter or facebook effect you? You will probably say not a whole lot. But, it does. The difference is, what you see as normal everyday occurrences and speaking with your friends about it is trivial. At this point in technology it is. But at a psychological level. People crave the 'likes' and people crave the 'rts' 'favs' or Trophies on twitter. Tumblr means you want more hits and visitors. I write this blog, this is a form of social media, I do care about views. Because I write this to help other people.

However, the darkness that can come about from Social Media is paramount. Search any racial slur on twitter or google with tumblr added. You will see your everyday average person spewing venom towards everyone that is not their race. Why? Because anonymity makes it easy to do some. It makes it easy to ruin people's day by trolling them. It effects everyone individually. But, the larger picture is. People are just as racist as they were 20 years ago. Now they can spew it without regard for consequence. I personally have a problem with this. I have people who I thought were friends use these avenues to attack another race. It ruins friendships. Family members fight over little trivial spiteful vague posts and don't talk for years.

It can affect how a relationship is founded. I have 2500+ followers, very few of them I know even the littlest detail. But if you post something that strays too far, they can put you on blast. Make you feel like garbage.

Facebook ruins long distance relationships. Sure it is nice to be able to talk to a loved one, or a close friend who lives far away. But, assuming you have some friends close to you. You can connect on facebook, set up meetings. Rekindle friendships, old relationships and if it goes far enough, become intimate and emotionally attached. Facebook is a terrible terrible social media outlet for people who are married or engaged. Because it raises a lot of doubt. It brings about trust issues. People need to step back. People need to realize that 'innocent' conversation has the ability to become a tool to hurt. A tool to make someone depressed.

I don't know if anyone has done studies. But I have the slight feeling that infidelity has risen by a huge margin since Social Media has taken stride (AIM, AOL, MSN, MySpace)

Social media is a slippery slope, I keep it light. I find humor and learn from other people. It is what I look for. However, it is the perspective that really matters for people.

The question at hand is, what exactly do you get from Social Media? How much does it effect you? Positively or negatively?

Too many lives have been lost because social media has been used to harm or depress people, cyber bullying makes it too easy to prey on the 'weak'. 

Regards,
Devon

Crossing the Threshold

Heavy breathing
sudden flush of senses
heart drops
Muscle aches
stomach pain
tears.... For 30 minutes

I cried, like a little bitch.

When? about 30 minutes ago. I think I broke the threshold from having my anxiety under control to a level of depression.

Who am I?
I'm human, I'm caring... somedays. I crave people worrying about me because it makes me feel some sort of self worth. My life has been a constant reminder that you can battle through it. That's what I want people to take from my life. It is not sunshine on either side. Every day is struggle.

Do I know where I went wrong? Do I know where I end up?
No... The thrill of it is entertaining/frightening. More so frightening.
Surgery in October was a God send. I had an excuse. To stop putting pressure on myself. To stop the constant berating of my feelings. I could focus on comedy, having a shitty job just to yuk it up and take a court side seat and just watch life. Sometimes you don't want to be in the drivers seat. I wanted that sending, I craved it. It was the only silver lining. It was how I was going to break the mold my brother had made. I was going to use 2 years of experience and gain to turn myself into something presentable, and something fitting to the rest of my life.... Unorthodox. I've never been one to do things in the order they are presented. Being different, being weird.

 I told people around me it sucked that I was out a year... It didn't. I don't care anymore. My surgery got moved to April, so... You know, I can go to school in September.
I don't want to do it, I didn't after the first semester of this year. My body is toast, I've now sacrificed my body for what... The off chance at a future? somewhere? where does someone like me fit in?
 I've promised myself for too long, that I wouldn't sacrifice personal health or family relationships for school/work. I broke that promise to myself. That hurts the most. I couldn't even admit to myself that I was making a mockery on any ideals I have.

That's bad. I've reached the breaking point with school. Somewhere something/someone was looking over me with the October date. I was going to be able to rest, I want to do stand-up. Lord knows it is the only thing that keeps me sane.

I'm 21 years old, I would give anything to tell 15 year old me that life is going to suck. But, occasionally you will get those moments that show you why, "Life is Beautiful."

Those moments are overshadowed by my constant need to feel anxious. My constant need to not feel depression. These words write themselves

I grew up faster than anyone should. It is not healthy how quickly some kids grow up today. Age is the number, experience of life's events is the true person. I'm 21. I feel 45-55. I don't even fucking know what my name is anymore. I don't want to wear the name 'Hunt'. I do not associate with that side. My name is Devon. Like, Seal or Cher or some shit now. Until I officially change my name.
It is generational, It is not experienced by only me. I fear what is to come for the next generation.

I won't sleep tonight, I'm fine with it. Depression brings many sleepless nights. Daryl Strawberry describes depression as "The Want to Hide, so nobody can see you." That's the truth. Here I am friends, family and twitter. I'm not hiding. I'm not healthy, dimensions of health is what I learned this year. There is 7 of them. Emotional relationships with friends and family is an aspect of social domains. It is the only semblance of 'good'.  I'm not at a scary place. I'm not at the point of self harm or harming others. Don't worry about that. But, the threshold. The threshold has been crossed, 13 kilometers ago.

Thanks for reading.

Devon Hunt.

 Those people around me, who make me happy. I appreciate everyday with you. That's the beauty in life. How fragile everything or everyone you touch, really is. I love you Mom, Fiancee, friends, family, strangers on twitter. You are keeping the train moving.

At this moment of writing. I love you, Devon. For being able to write this, instead of crawling into the deep dark hole like you've done so many times in the past.

I'm in limbo, not quite depressed.

I'm sitting here at 1 am, with no motivation. Sitting on twitter and finding something to laugh at. Can't find anything worth mustering up the will to laugh at. I got up this morning with the intention of going to class. Didn't have to urge to go. I can't. It makes me manic. Makes me panic. Makes me anxious as balls. I took the news hard today that any momentum I have had for post-secondary and setting up a career will be broken up 1 to 2 years. I had the most confidence in myself to come into next year mashing everything. It is earth shattering to me. It is not the first time it has broken up school for me.

I missed the first year of high school because of surgery. I paid the price in more ways than one. A botched surgery, long recovery, catheter, made fun of endlessly for being a year behind. Called dumb, and too stupid to make it onto the next grade. Goblin, Frodo, any other interesting insults they can throw  at me and the way I look.

Alas, I am not ready to call it depression, I'm not ready to call it anything. It has affected my mood and my desire to be active. Procrastination is at an all time high. Not sure what to call it. It isn't a healthy or pleasant feeling. I will break the funk, I have the tools now.

This is not a post for sympathy, this is me telling myself I am not going to slip into depression. I know what it is like. Now is not the time to go there. I'm gonna bounce back.

All my work this year, with the best grades I've had will be for nothing or if not won't mean anything for a year.

If I do fall into depression I will tell you about it, because I cannot keep it away this time. It is too painful for me to go through again alone.

It has taken the wind out of my sails. It has made me second guess most of my decisions thus far. It is a surgery that must be done. I'm showing old habits of blaming people for things who have nothing to do with it or it is out of their/my control.

I am walking around faceless, not literally. But, no emotion. Nothing to show for it. Nothing to smile to, just apathy. Apathy is the gateway to depression.

My anxiety is at an all-time high, but that I can deal with through communication with those who care.

Thanks for reading,

Regards,
Devon

"Retarded" Please stop saying this

I've cut it out of my vocabulary, completely. Why can't others? It is (in my opinion) the most disgusting word in the English language. Why does it exist? for people with little vocabulary to use it on a day to day basis to explain the most trivial of things?

It bothers me to no end that it is said daily, without care. Without reasons for saying it. Regardless of how you meant it, it should really be stopped.

I recently watched an E:60 on Inspirational people. They did a story on Heath Miller, he is a person who runs marathons. What makes him different? He runs marathons pushing his little girl in a stroller/cart in front of him. Running it together, for the world to see. It isn't about what place he finishes, it is to bring positive experiences and to make his daughter happy. His daughter was born with Down Syndrome. He raises money for this, he raises money for families who deal with having a child who requires needs beyond what other children needs.

He ran his last marathon with her somewhat recently, in his final interview he was asked what he wanted to know, what he worries about. He responded with (paraphrasing) I wish my daughter all the happiness in the world, she is a happy girl. She is important. She is intelligent. I am worried that one day someone is going to called her "retarded" and I'm going to have to sit her down and explain it. Going to have to explain why some people think it is okay to call people this. I hope that day never comes cause it will crush her spirit.

That's true, self-esteem is hard to come by. Hurling that word at anybody is enough to put a burden on them. They will carry it with them. It is a heavy word, it is a mean word. It is an ugly word.

Please stop saying retard or retarded)

Regards,

Devon